Although people have an idea in their heads regarding how their relationships with others should be, in reality, it is often different. For example, if a spouse is more insensitive than caring or an old friend does not text back, the expectations tend to be turned inside one’s head. Now research by Duke University has explained the discrepancies that trigger loneliness.
Individuals feel lonely as they age
Researchers studied why individuals feel lonely as they age and what should be done about it. King’s College London Graduate student and first-study author Samia Akhte-Khan said loneliness is due to the discrepancies between actual and expected social relationships. Samia explains that the problem they identified in the present research is that they have not thought about what people expect from relationships. Usually, people work with the definition of expectations without identifying what these expectations are and how they change over time or across cultures.
It is vital to note that each human relationship has certain basic expectations. The majority of people want folks in their lives that can help them. Everybody needs someone they can trust and share their life experiences with. Interestingly as per the study authors’ theory of Social Relationship Expectations Framework, older people tend to have specific expectations that are likely to be overlooked.
Expectations from social connections differ with age
Loneliness comes in when someone spends time alone and isolated. Samia says that the first clue regarding the complexity of loneliness came around 2018-2019 when she was studying ageing in Myanmar. Previously, she thought the individuals she was analysing wouldn’t show loneliness. According to her, people are connected and live in a close-knit society. Individuals have large families, and they are usually close to each other.
Data collected shows that individuals can feel lonely even when they don’t spend time alone. However, Samia believes that efforts to reduce loneliness have never accounted for how relationships change when people get older. For instance, the expectations from social connections for someone 35 years old are different from someone who is 70 years.
